I do NOT understand the aversion Men have...

of writing down items on a grocery list when they run out! It is NOT THAT HARD!!!! And how the hell am I supposed to know we are out of it if I am not the one who used it up?? >.<

Now I can't make dinner. BAH!!!!

*breathe, self. breathe* I am just trying SO HARD to be on top of things and I bought $50 of groceries last night (granted, $15 of that was spent on ground coffee for Syd and wine for cooking, but still), and I still don't have all the bloody stuff I need.

Plus I am trying to cook dinner so we don't eat out so much and stuff, and then I end up giving up time that I should be studying or whatever in to make dinner, which is okay, but then it is frustrating to try and not be able to. Plus, I did the dishes so that I would have the pots and pans I needed (also so Syd wouldn't have to do them when he got home). >.<

Maybe I am just in a bad mood, however. Because I am tired and still half-sick and this has been a whole week now of being sick or half-sick and less than productive and so now I am running behind on stuff (or at least not as ahead as I would normally be) and so now I am starting to panic, but I still don't feel good enough to really push myself to get things done.

Or something. I don't know, I don't even feel good. :\ I'm probably partly PMSing on top of everything else because I already have my montly pimple. So I'm sure that isn't helping anyways because I do tend to feel rather lousy around that time.

I just want it to be the weekend yet. At least Friday I don't have my religion class, so that might help a little bit.

I don't even know why I am wasting the time in writing this. It's not like anybody reads it, and besides, it's not like I have anything interesting to say either! :P

I need more sleep.

I didn't get a nap today. And I hate algorithms class. Know what makes it even worse? The fact that I *shouldn't* hate it, I just hate the professor (as does everyone else, it really isn't just me) and that makes the whole class terrible. *le sigh* I mean, I have taken so many classes that are supposed to build on the foundations of this class (and be harder than this class) and I passed those with no trouble at all. So, theoretically, this class should be easy. Rawr.

I'm so hungry and Syd is 20 minutes late. And I even fixed dinner, tortillas included! Sheesh. And we need to go grocery shopping and I need to finish my reading for tomorrow and maybe work on my models if I have time.

I was looking on ravelry today and somehow found my way over to NoTwoSnowflakes on Etsy, where I found absolutely GORGEOUS yarn in the perfect color, perfect type (SILK!!! OMG ALL SILK! I LOVE SILK!!!), and perfect name (Shark Fin...Sharks are soooooo cool). However, it is $30 plus $3 shipping, BUT I could totally make the Seashell Shawl with it (which I already have the pattern for) and it is 830 yards of pretty laceweight silk, so....that is actually pretty cheap for a shawl. Hmmm wonder if I can talk Syd or Mom into buying it for my birthday (since I don't really have time right now and I really want to get started on Syd's sweater once the yarn arrives).

I do wish Syd's sweater yarn would get here, it's six skeins of Cascade 220 and I already have two skeins of Cascade 220 in a different color. But I do have the mon petit chou to finish first, anyways. The top is finished, I've only just started the bottoms because I don't have much time to knit.

I need more time to do things that I actually want to do, but between homework, and fixing Syd's lunch and my lunch and our dinner, and washing the dishes, and trying to keep the house semi-clean, I just don't have any time. And then Syd comes home at night and wants all of my attention (which isn't a BAD thing, I just haven't even ended up knitting during any movies or anything because by the time we start watching them it is just so late I don't want to mess up my knitting).

I need to go do something now. >.< Something PRODUCTIVE.

I'm sick again. Same thing I had last week, only worse, so I must have either re-caught it on Sat when I was sneezing my head off or sneezing my head off just weakened my immune system. Grar. I had a lot I needed to get done today, too. I slept most of the day, still don't feel great. I'm going to fix dinner around 5:30. Soup, I think, because I might actually eat soup.

I really should be doing homework, and I am going to try to force myself to now, but I am just SO tired and ugh. I miss having Syd home. :\

I was looking at Ravelry, at the finished Ravelympics items, and was adding random patterns to my queue. I found two very pretty lacey skirts that I would like to make to wear dancing. My dance wardrobe definitely needs help. Then I went to look at my queue...and I have almost 100 items saved! D: Even if I never add another pattern, and kept knitting at the rate I am knitting now, it would still take me upwards of oh 20 years to finish off all of those patterns! Of course, I probably wouldn't actually end up finishing them all, as there are several lace patterns (a few I definitely want to do, but others I will probably end up doing maybe 1 out of 5 or so), and several fingerless gloves/mits. There are also some smaller items, like socks, but even so. The one shawl I am just DYING to knit is the civil war shawl...drooool. But that will take so much yarn and so much time to knit.

I am working on my 101 in 1001 list, but am stuck at around 50. Which is really silly, because there are so many things that I want to do I know I should easily be able to come up with 101! lol Maybe I have too many lists? Also, I know that many of the things that are on my full to do list are things that I can't get done in two years, or things that I can maybe get one or two things done per category (ie: I can't completely travel the world in two years, unless I forgo work and do nothing else, so I had to limit that to going to South Africa and maybe one other place).

Yeah..I am going to attempt to do something now. Or maybe just sleep more. >.<

That darn pearl necklace!

So, I was supposed to sew a button back onto one of Syd's shirts. He needs to wear the shirt tomorrow (man, I have GOT to get him more shirts XD) so I was going to do it this afternoon, as we have dance tonight and of course have to get up early tomorrow. But anyways, I digres...So I went to get the button and it was not where it had been for the past week (seriously...it was there yesterday! I know it was!) but that is okay, as there are two spare buttons sewn to the inside of the shirt, so I can use one of those and if the original button shows up sometime, I can sew it to the inside, no problem. And I borrowed the right color thread from Mom this weekend, so I had that. So I go to find my needles...and I have no idea where they are! None at all! I know I had them this spring (May 3, to be specific) when I fixed a hole in my dance dress. But I have NO idea where they are. So frustrating! So I was looking in my bead box, thinking that maybe they had been stuck there (after all, that would be a fairly logical place to put them). Alas! No luck, however, I *did* come across..

That darn pearl necklace!!!

A couple of years ago I was at my local bead store (had nothing better to do, I guess) and I was just looking around. Now, normally I'm not really big into pearls, especially not white pearls. However, this time I happened to notice a strand of tiny white/silver button pearls, and I decided that I HAD to have them. I thought they would be perfect wedding jewelry, although I wasn't planning on (ever) getting married. But anyways, I thought I would try pearl knotting so I bought a strand. And I made a double-stranded pearl knotted bracelet. Silk thread. SS clasp. And it was so pretty!!!!

Then last fall, I was out with Mom, and I thought that I wanted to make something for my bridesmaids to wear, in navy(ish) and lavender(ish). So I found two pearl strands that I liked and decided I would pearl knot necklaces for my bridesmaids. Annnyway. They happened to have a few strands of the tiny "wedding" pearls that I had made the bracelet out of. So, of course, I decided that I should buy two more strands and make a matching double stranded necklace for myself. To (possibly) wear with my wedding dress (but it didn't match, but I was going to go ahead and make it anyways).

So I made my bridesmaid's necklaces, no problem (I even bought matching silk thread online, because Crafts2000 only carries white and black). Then I start on my necklace. I get oohhhh maybe 4 inches in to the first strand...and I get a bad knot (not tight enough) that WON'T come out. So I go buy more thread, and start over. The same thing happens. FOUR TIMES. FOUR @)*$(#*$# times. >.<
So I gave up, and decided it was cursed. I had no problems when I did the bracelet, and that had two strands. I hadn't done even a quarter of that length with the necklace before it had problems.

Anyways...there it was, in my bead box. In a bag. And I have this sneaky little suspicion that I bought two more packs of silk thread (...which would be like six packs total for this ONE necklace >.<) to try again, but I don't know where they are. So now I am kind of tempted to try this necklace again. After all, it *has* been a year, and maybe the "curse" is broken. Maybe.

So that, my non-existant readers, is the story of That darn pearl necklace!

Day #1 minus Car

So yeah we are going to be without car until Wednesday at least, so this will be fun. :P No dancey dancey tomorrow. :(

I was going to try to work on my internship stuff but I can't get my main animation to open correctly so I don't have any images to stick on my presentation or poster and I have looked at the help and there isnt anything that works so I think I just give up now. T_T

I need to go fix dinner just now anyways. I also need to order my textbooks (uuuugh) and work on my sleeve, I *have* to get that sleeve done today and get started on the next if I want to have the sweater done by next week. I sure hope Hobby Lobby has a 40% off coupon this week so I can start buying yarn for Anna's mermaid.

I just feel annoyed with everything. That is the ONLY scene that won't open, and there is no good reason for it, either...that I can find, anyways. And that was the best thing I made for my internship, and I am NOT remaking it, and my internship stuff is all BS anyways, I at least need images for it...or maybe I just won't bother with the poster and ppt. That would serve Dr. S. right..

I also need to start applying for jobs places. :\

I think I am PMSing, I feel generally a bit grumpy and annoyed with everything. Meh.

I hate my internship

Yeah, so it has pretty much been a complete waste of time. And now I am at the point where I have to sit down and write up "deliverables" to hand in. A "nontechnical" paper, a "technical" paper, a poster, AND a powerpoint presentation (which I then have to present). AKA "pull stuff out of my butt" that looks/sounds good about what I DID for my internship and why it is important.

Which leads directly to the problem: I didn't actually DO anything for my internship (because I wasn't given anything) and I therefore don't have anything to write about. And the stuff that I DID do really ISN'T important. So.

Yay?

I am really tempted to just not turn them in, or to go to the prof and tell him that I really have no clue what to write. But he doesn't really care. Obviously. So.

...I'm kind of in the mood to color pictures. XD I will have to see what good things I have to color. Yeah...although I could be knitting or needlepointing or even (le gasp) working on Senior Seminar or my dance animation.

But I think I should get the papers, poster, presentation, etc, out of the way now (even though it means pulling BS out of my...erm..yeah) because I am going to be so busy once classes start that it isn't even funny. All my free time? Yeah, that will pretty much cease to exist until mid-December.

Speaking of that, I need to order my textbooks this week, and I need to be searching for jobs. That scares me. I need to get a website up and running with pretty models and code and stuff. Meep.

So that probably means I should stop this stream-of-consciousness writing and actually get down to DOING something that I need to do, right?

But...that isn't any fun. :(

The difference between men and women...

So we were at Kohl's the other day looking for a birthday present for my brother, and we were looking at the "young men's" graphic tees. And I see one that says "XBox" on it with the XBox 360 logo on it and I'm all like "OMG THAT IS MINE!!!" and then I see a blue shirt with "Wii" on it. Uh-oh. Which one to get? Which one? Hard-core gamer? Or cool fun obsessed-with-new-tech-gadgets girl?

Eventually (after not buying either shirt but still wanting both), I got off on the train of thought on the differences between guys and girls and gaming. That's a lot of g's.

Guys (most guys, not all, but those who really like games) are perfectly happy to sit and play a video game (or multiple video games) for hours on end. They forget to eat, drink, and sleep while playing games. Additionally, they get very very very involved with games. To the point that they yell at the screen, at the game, at the other player(s), and want to throw things (or fits) when they don't get their goal accomplished for whatever reason.

Girls, on the other hand, even those that really enjoy video games, don't want to sit and play video games for more than a few hours at a time, at which point it becomes kind of like "well, this is fun, but I am kind of just wasting my time". Additionally, girls don't get quite as upset if they can't do it. They have the attitude that it is "just" a game.

I have a sneaky suspicion that if I bought the Wii shirt and wear it, people would label me as a "nerd girl". Which isn't bad, and partially true. However, if I wore the XBox360 shirt, I have the feeling I would be labeled as weird. As in "YOU play XBox360 (and like it enough to buy a SHIRT?)?!", which would obviously lead to the question of "which games do you play?", which then leads to the reaction of "REALLY? But you're a GIRL! Hardly any girls play that game..."

Now, I know there ARE other girls who play the games that I like. In fact, I like quite a few games, both girly games and non-girlygames. And I have met other girls while playing Halo3 online. But I would have to say that my favorite "new" game (not including things like Mario and DDR, even the newer versions, because they have been out for a while) is Microsoft's Gears of War. I like it so much that I am considering applying at Epic Games so I can convince them that they desperately need a PLAYABLE main character girl. Not just a secretary/ops lady...who you see once and then talks to you the rest of the game. No, that is not good enough. I want a female soldier, in ARMOR, out in the field with Delta Squad. Oh yeah. And I don't think I am going to get it for Gears2, so I need to get on the team so we can have one for at least Gears3....

...but that is off-topic. See? Don't get me started on my favorite game. What I was going to say is that when people find out that I play/like/obsess about Gears, they are always shocked and surprised, whether they are a girl or a guy. Why? Because Gears carries the connotation that it is very much a 'guy' game. The graphics are dark and fairly realistic, there are lots of guns (torque bow....drooooool) and explosions, lots of blood, and a fairly dark storyline. Oh yeah, and there are super-cool awesome-scary badguys all over the place that you can shoot the **** out of...or just chainsaw in half! Who wouldn't love a game like that....? I know there are pleanty of other FPS games out there with similar characteristics, but Gears just struck a note with me. It's main characters are funny (in a very dry, dark-humor kind of way) and easy to get attached to, the game play is great, and the story is awesome. But it is, in every sense of the phrase, a "guy" game.

Now, if I told people that "OMG I LOVE Legend of Zelda!" nobody would be a bit surprised. But I don't. LoZ is okay. But it is very much a kid/girl game. I mean...the grapics are okay, but not amazingly realistic. The tasks can be hard, but they aren't dark, there isn't a lot of shooting and blood and in-your-face-violence, and the whole plot is more fantasy based. Not saying there couldn't be a really good fantasy video game, but fantasy and rpg games on the whole tend to be a little bit more girly, for no apparent reason. I mean, I could think of tons of really cool fantasy games that guys would enjoy as much as girls, if they were done properly. But they all seem to be targeted at girls. I know people partially think it is because Link is "cute", but why don't girls fall for characters like Fenix and Dom?

Of course, there are games that aren't seen as "girl or guy" games. Things like Guitar Hero seem to be pretty unisex, so telling someone you like Guitar Hero or Wii boxing isn't a big deal, or a big surprise. Telling someone you like Halo3 or Gears, and actually being able to hold a conversation about it with them (and generally knowing more about it than them) IS a big deal.

What is wrong with girls playing a FPS? And being GOOD at it? Playing Halo3 live, many times people notice my name, and the first question is always "Are you REALLY a girl?" Uh, duh. Why would I have "Lady" in my name otherwise? >.< And the second comment is usually "You're one of the only girls I've ever seen play this game!" Whopee. At which point they decide to friend me for no other reason than I am a girl who plays games like Halo3, which is apparently sexy? o.0 Or something. Whatever. Their friend requests just sit in my inbox forever. Losers!

I just don't get it, but I am proud to be what most people would label as a "gamer girl geek".